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Kazakhstan citizens speak englishДавайте попрактикуем свой English

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#241
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Funny Quotes (From List Mailer "English for Advanced"):

"Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house, that's what it means."

"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."

"Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close knit family in another city."

"A married man should forget his mistakes; no use two people remembering the same thing."

"My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher."

"Heaven is an American salary, a Chinese cook, an English house, and a Japanese wife. Hell is defined as having a Chinese salary, an English cook, a Japanese house, and an American wife."



Is it based on your personal experience? Is it that bad?

OK, here is a joke for you all about blonds (I am a brunette bty):

"A blonde female police officer pulled over a blonde woman for
speeding. The blonde cop approached the car and asked the blonde
for her driver's license.

The blonde driver asked, "What does a driver's license look like?"
as she searched through her purse.

The blonde cop said, "It's that little thing with your picture on it."

The Driver pulled out her compact, opened it, looked in the mirror
and handed it to the officer.

The blonde cop looked in the mirror, handed it back to the blonde
and said, "If you'd told me you were a police officer, we could have
avoided all this."
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#242
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Yah, i need some space...


Personal space? Space to live in? Did I miss something?
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#243
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Have you seen the "Matrix Revolution" yet?


Not yet. As I said, no time for movies :lol: . There is a movie called "Last Samurai" (with Tom Cruse) which was out last week. I really wanna see it.... What movies are playng in Almaty now?
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#244
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Have you seen the "Matrix Revolution" yet?


Not yet. As I said, no time for movies :lol: . There is a movie called "Last Samurai" (with Tom Cruse) which was out last week. I really wanna see it.... What movies are playng in Almaty now?

I wish I had watched Matrix3 too. :-)
Which movies? Tarantino's "Kill Bil"l, 'Another World" - about the vampires, "Freddy vs Jason" - a shitty horror, imho; then - "Master & Commander" - sea adventures; and some others. go2_kino.kz
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#245
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Have you seen the "Matrix Revolution" yet?


Not yet. As I said, no time for movies :-) . There is a movie called "Last Samurai" (with Tom Cruse) which was out last week. I really wanna see it.... What movies are playng in Almaty now?


Funny story :lol:

Are you not from Almaty, right? Then where are from?
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#246
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Have you seen the "Matrix Revolution" yet?


Not yet. As I said, no time for movies :lol: . There is a movie called "Last Samurai" (with Tom Cruse) which was out last week. I really wanna see it.... What movies are playng in Almaty now?


Funny story :smoke:

Are you not from Almaty, right? Then where are from?


I am from Almaty, but now live and work in the US...
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#247
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Funny story  :smoke:

Are you not from Almaty, right? Then where are from?


I am from Almaty, but now live and work in the US...


Wow! Where exactly do you work? (I mean city and direction)
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#248
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I am from Almaty, but now live and work in the US...

*voice of Butthead*: Cooo-aahhl!
Do you know any CT members living abroad, especially in US? Have you ever met them? It'd be great if you make your own, CT-meeting in reality, there. :smoke:
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#249
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nyc
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#250
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I live near Washington DC. Work in one small financial company. I don?t know any other CT members living in the US, and, frankly speaking, don?t really want to meet them in person (virtual interaction is quite enough) . I have my personal reasons for that (don?t ask me why). All I can say is that there are not many Kazakhs (and Russians) around here and among them not many people I would be friends with if I met them in KZ. I have few close friends and that is enough?
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#251
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Funny story  :smoke:

Are you not from Almaty, right? Then where are from?


I am from Almaty, but now live and work in the US...


Wow! Where exactly do you work? (I mean city and direction)


There is nothing really ?wow? about me living in the US. As it was discussed here (somewhere in the forum), there are many pluses and minuses about living far away from your homeland. Of course, we are just humans and can accommodate to any living conditions (and mine are not the worse ones), however, there is no ?heaven? on the earth. Although, I don?t regret I live here, I kind of envy (in a good way) my friends in Almaty who are having pretty nice life there. I love when I visit Almaty to see how it changes for better. Pretty impressive.
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#252
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To KAPPA:

Merry Christmas to DC population!


These here three surgeons are arguing who is the best.
The first one says: "I once operated a pianist who had all of his fingers broken and a month later he gave a concert to the Queen of England!"
The second one says: "That's f@ck all! I had a patient once who lost both his legs! A year later he became an Olympic Champion in ski racing!"
The third surgeon's turn: "Both of you guys are just dilettantes! Here is my story: A cowboy was run over by a train when he was riding along a rail road. All that was left after the accident was the horse's ass and the guy's hat... He is the president of the United States now!" :laugh:


Happy New Year folks! :weep:
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#253
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Do you know where Giving the Finger (Flipping the bird) comes from?

Before the Battle of Agincourt in 1415, the French, anticipating victory over the English, proposed to cut off the middle finger of all captured English soldiers! Without the middle finger it would be impossible to draw the renowned English longbow and therefore be incapable of fighting in the future. This famous weapon was made of the native English Yew tree, and the act of drawing the longbow was known as "plucking the yew" (or "pluck yew").
Much to the bewilderment of the French, the English won a major upset and began mocking the French by waving their middle fingers at the defeated French, saying, "See, we can still pluck yew! "PLUCK YEW!"
Since 'pluck yew' is rather difficult to say, the difficult consonant cluster at the beginning has gradually changed to a labiodental fricative 'F', and thus the words often used in conjunction with the one-finger-salute are mistakenly thought to have something to do with an intimate encounter.
It is also because of the pheasant feathers on the arrows used with the longbow that the symbolic gesture is known as "giving the bird" (or "flipping the bird").

And yew thought yew knew everything. :weep:
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#254
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Сорри за ОФФ конечно. Только прошу не пинайте. Очень хочется выучить английский язык. По школе и в универе изучал немецкий, так что в английском немного дуб. Подскажите плз свободно владеющие английским языком с чего начать? Нужен ли репетитор для индивидуальных занятий или все же в группе с другими начать изучение? Что эффективнее?
Буду очень признателен за добрые советы
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#255
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Сорри за ОФФ конечно. Только прошу не пинайте. Очень хочется выучить английский язык. По школе и в универе изучал немецкий, так что в английском немного дуб. Подскажите плз свободно владеющие английским языком с чего начать? Нужен ли репетитор для индивидуальных занятий или все же в группе с другими начать изучение? Что эффективнее?
Буду очень признателен за добрые советы


Я, конечно, не асс (не в том смысле, а в смысле не очень хорошо знаю :beer:), но могу сказать, что, как и во всём ином, главное - иметь желание. Это такое состояние, когда ты даже случаяно услышанное слово запомнил и, что не маловажно, стал применять в жизни.

Учить можно, как угодно, но главное - практика, т.е. пытаться говорить и думать по-английски, пусть даже не правильно, т.к. цель - внедрять слова, а не только запоминать. Бывает, когда нужно, не можешь слово подобрать, а позже вспоминаешь самое подходящее (оказывается, знал... :laugh:). Это от недостатка практики, мне кажется.

Успехов! :weep:
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#256
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Кстати, я знаю, где с января ожидается начало английских курсов. Причём бесплатно. Если, хочешь - свистну. :weep:
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#257
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...Очень хочется выучить английский язык...


А каковы мотивы, уважаемый, если не "топ сикрет"? :weep:
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#258
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WOMEN'S ENGLISH

1. Yes = No

2. No = Yes

3. Maybe = No

4. We need... = I want...

5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry

6. We need to talk = I need to complain

7. Sure, go ahead = I don't want you to

8. Do what you want = You'll pay for this later

9. I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron!

10. Are you listening to me? = Too late, you're dead

11. You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me

12. Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs

13. You're so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot

14. Do you love me? = I am going to ask for something expensive

15. It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now

16. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?

17. I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on
TV

18. How much do you love me? = I did something today that you're really not
going to like

MEN'S ENGLISH

1. I am hungry = I am hungry

2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy

3. I am tired = I am tired

4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!

5. I love you = Let's have sex now

6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?

7. What's wrong? = I guess sex is out of the question

8. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you

9. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you

10. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you

11. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you

12. Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for other men to have sex
with you

13. You look tense, let me give you a massage = I want to have sex with you
within the next 3 minutes

14. Let's talk = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep
person and then I'd like to have sex with you.

15. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I'm gay
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#259
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...Очень хочется выучить английский язык...


А каковы мотивы, уважаемый, если не "топ сикрет"? :weep:

Нет не секрет. Просто есть такое слово "желание". Типа а чем я хуже тех людей, которые умеют говорить. Да и знание языка всегда пригодится.
(Учитывая служебные командировки за рубежом или просто отдых)
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#260
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Three guys and a lady were sitting at the bar talking about their professions.
The first guy says: " I'm a Y.U.P.P.I.E, you know... Young, Urban, Professional, Peaceful, Intelligent, Ecologist."
The second guy says: " I'm a D.I.N.K.Y., you know... Double Income, No Kids Yet."
The third guy says: " I'm a R.U.B, you know... Rich, Urban, Biker."
They turn to the woman and ask her: " What are you?" She replies: " I'm a WIFE, you know...Wash, Iron, F@ck, Etc..."




Merry Christmas !!! :fie:
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