Funny Quotes (From List Mailer "English for Advanced"):
"Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house, that's what it means."
"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."
"Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close knit family in another city."
"A married man should forget his mistakes; no use two people remembering the same thing."
"My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher."
"Heaven is an American salary, a Chinese cook, an English house, and a Japanese wife. Hell is defined as having a Chinese salary, an English cook, a Japanese house, and an American wife."
Is it based on your personal experience? Is it that bad?
OK, here is a joke for you all about blonds (I am a brunette bty):
"A blonde female police officer pulled over a blonde woman for
speeding. The blonde cop approached the car and asked the blonde
for her driver's license.
The blonde driver asked, "What does a driver's license look like?"
as she searched through her purse.
The blonde cop said, "It's that little thing with your picture on it."
The Driver pulled out her compact, opened it, looked in the mirror
and handed it to the officer.
The blonde cop looked in the mirror, handed it back to the blonde
and said, "If you'd told me you were a police officer, we could have
avoided all this."