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How to write a cover letter, CV, essay e.t.c.делимся советами. проверяем.
#1
Отправлено 02.12.2009, 10:02:22
![](https://vse.kz/public/style_images/osnovnoi34/post_offline.png)
Выставляем на суть свои письма, а другие комментируют/исправляют.
Пользуясь случаем, выставляю свое cover letter на общее обсуждение (проверку):
Dear NAME,
This letter is to express my interest in discussing the SOME position posted on the www.SITE.net. The opportunity presented in this listing is very appealing, and I believe that my strong technical experience and education will make me a very competitive candidate for this position.
I’m currently interning at JSC COMPANY_NAME where I am working on Oracle developer position. As you would see, although I have experience working in bank’s business systems, I am also open to work in the fields of database technologies (Oracle, Microsoft SQL Server, MySQL), software engineering that involves technologies like PL/SQL, VBA, C/C++, HTML, UML designing (Enterprise Architect Tool), etc. I have full understanding of the full life cycle of a software development project. I am also learning about Microsoft technologies and products like Visual Studio .NET/ ASP.NET along with C# and MS SQL Server 2005 and shall be implementing them in the projects very soon.
With a Bachelor degree in Information Systems and being Undergraduate student of the last year I have experience in learning and excelling at new technologies as needed. My experience included but is not limited to:
- Programming both new applications and maintenance work
- Problem isolation and analysis
- Software quality testing
- Customer service and support
- Process improvement and documentation
Now days I’m closely working with customers, helping them to do well structured business requirements, making applications which based on current business needs. I know the basic concepts of the web development of the e-learning systems, further I can work as a worker who will connect business persons with IT specialists.
Based on my experience and strong commitment to my craft, I know I will add significant value to your team. I look forward to discussing my capabilities in more detail, and am available for an interview at your convenience. I know you are busy, and have many applications to review, so please let me know if you wish to further discuss your requirements and my ability to meet them. Thank you for your time and consideration.
Sincerely,
NAME
спасибо за внимание!
#2
Отправлено 02.12.2009, 14:55:37
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#5
Отправлено 02.12.2009, 17:51:58
![](https://vse.kz/public/style_images/osnovnoi34/post_offline.png)
Now days I’m closely working with customers, helping them to do well structured business requirements, making applications which based on current business needs. I know the basic concepts of the web development of the e-learning systems, further I can work as a worker who will connect business persons with IT specialists.
Мне кажется тут нужно немножко переделать:
Right now I’m closely working with customers, helping them developing well-structured business requirements (не совсем понятно, может Вы имели ввиду solutions, а не requirements), making applications which are based on current business needs. I know the basic concepts of the (артикль думаю надо убрать) web development of the e-learning systems, further (имеется что кроме всего прочего вы можете выполнять такую работу? или вы хотели сказать что в будущем можете ее выполнять? в первом случае может лучше поставить вместо further - besides that или moreover? во втором случае может лучше - in future) I can work as a worker who will connect business persons with IT specialists.
Сообщение отредактировал Snow Duck: 02.12.2009, 17:53:16
#6
Отправлено 03.12.2009, 11:55:12
![](https://vse.kz/public/style_images/osnovnoi34/post_offline.png)
Спасибо, исправлению внесу!
Requirements - имелось ввиду требование. Требование бизнеса, фактический техническое задание (ТЗ). Иногда бывает я помогаю заказчикам делать ТЗ, исправляю.
further - в будущей деятельности, если меня возьмут я буду связующим звеном между IT и бизнесом.
Как можно последнее предложение (предпосл.абзаца) по другому построить? вместо connect использовать другое.
2 ВК
спасибо.
некоторые отрывки я брал из других примеров. покопался перед тем как выложить.
Цель данного Cover Letter: для прохождения стажировки (работа) в западной компании (UK, Denmark, ...) на позиции IT-разработчика или IT-менеджера.
Сообщение отредактировал Bison: 03.12.2009, 12:01:32
#9
Отправлено 10.01.2010, 09:39:14
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Вместо under-graduate следовало писать graduate, уже закончил магистратуру. спасибо.With a Bachelor degree in Information Systems and being Undergraduate student of the last year - Вот это место совсем не понятно. Вы бакалавр или еще доучиваетесь?
Попробуйте запостить ваше эссе здесь:www.essayforum.com
Мне эти парни помогли.
#10
Отправлено 11.01.2010, 12:46:51
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#13
Отправлено 12.01.2010, 12:29:03
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As you would see, although I have experience working in bank’s business systems, I am also open to work in the fields of database technologies (Oracle, Microsoft SQL Server, MySQL), software engineering that involves technologies like PL/SQL, VBA, C/C++, HTML, UML designing (Enterprise Architect Tool), etc. - лучше перефразировать и начать предложение с although I have experience of working in a bank’s business systems и затем you would also see...
With a Bachelor degree in Information Systems and being Undergraduate student of the last year I have experience in learning and excelling at new technologies as needed. My experience included but is not limited to: - первое предложение какое-то неправильное... напишите на русском, что вы имеете ввиду, я смогу вам перевести
Now days I’m closely working with customers, helping them to do well structured business requirements, making applications which based on current business needs. - во-первых, nowadays, а во-вторых, тут время continuous не подходит... лучше просто использовать present да и вообще слово nowadays убрать и заменить на at the moment и т.д.
I look forward to discussing - i'm looking forward to discuss
I know you are busy, and have many applications to review, so please let me know if you wish to further discuss your requirements and my ability to meet them. - if you would like to have further discussion about your requirments and my ability to meet them.
#18
Отправлено 12.01.2010, 15:27:15
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по-моему, правильней будет вариант Nowadays.
Now days - есть такое слово, просто оно здесь неуместно. Лучше At the moment или Currently.
покажите в каком словаре такое написано, тогда поверю... общаюсь с носителями языка, инглиш с детства как родной русский знаю и че-то такого слова не слышала...
![:D](http://vse.kz/public/style_emoticons/default/wink.gif)
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