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Разговор между Дж. Бушем и К.Райсигра слов: необходимо знание английского

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#1
XaHyMaH

XaHyMaH

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До сих пор отойти не могу  :)

Conversation between George W. and his National Security Advisor.

George: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening?
Condi: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.
George: Great. Lay it on me.
Condi: Hu is the new leader of China.
George: That's what I want to know.
Condi: That's what I'm telling you.
George: That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of China?
Condi: Yes.
George: I mean the fellow's name.
Condi: Hu.
George: The guy in China.
Condi: Hu.
George: The new leader of China.
Condi: Hu.
George: The Chinaman!
Condi: Hu is leading China.
George: Now whaddya' asking me for?
Condi: I'm telling you Hu is leading China.
George: Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China?
Condi: That's the man's name.
George: That's who's name?
Condi: Yes.
George: Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of
China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle
East.
Condi: That's correct.
George: Then who is in China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir is in China?
Condi: No, sir.
George: Then who is?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir?
Condi: No, sir.
George: Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of China.
Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone.
Condi: Kofi?
George: No, thanks.
Condi: You want Kofi?
George: No.
Condi: You don't want Kofi.
George: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. And
then get me the U.N.
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.
Condi: Kofi?
George: Milk! Will you please make the call?
Condi: And call who?
George: Who is the guy at the U.N?
Condi: Hu is the guy in China.
George: Will you stay out of China?!
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N.
Condi: Kofi.
George: All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone. (Condi
picks up the phone.)
Condi: Rice, here.
George: Rice? Good idea. And a couple of egg rolls, too. Maybe we should
send some to the guy in China. And the Middle East. Can you get Chinese
food in the Middle East?
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#2
iluxa

iluxa
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Классика!!!!  :) Видать они наших юмористов насмотрелись.
"У нас есть грузин по фамилии Авас...
- Как вас зовут?
- Авас.
- Меня Николай Степанович. А вас?
- А вас.
........."
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#3
Da_ReBeL

Da_ReBeL

    цыник и падонак

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Вот вам еще:

Enjoy the English letter from an italian man, a complain letter to a hotel in London.


Dear Signore Directore,


Now i am a -tella you story how I was a treated at your hotella. I am a-comma from Roma as tourist to London and stay as a younga Christian man at your hottella... When i comma in my room I see there is no shit in my bed-how can I sleep with no shit in my bed? so I calla down to receptione and tella: "I wanna shit!" They tella me "Go to toilet." I say:"No,no. I wanna shit in my bed." They say:"You better not shit in your bed, you sonnawabitch!" What is a sonnawabitch?

I go down for breakfast into ristorante,I order bacon and eggs and two pissis of toast. I getta only one piss of toast, I tella waitress, and pointa of toast:" I wanna piss !" She tella me:" Do to toilet." I say:"No,no. I wanna piss on my plate!" She then say to me:" you bloody hella not piss on the plate, you sonnawabitch!" Second person who do not even know me calla me sonnawabitch! What is a sonnawabitch? Later I go for dinner in your ristorante. Spoon and knife is laid out, but no fock. I tella waitress:"i wanna fock." And she tella me: " Sure, everyone wanna fork!" I tella her: No,no. you don't undderstand me. I wanna fuck on the table!"She tella me:" So you sonnawabitch wanna fuck on the table!" Get your ass out of here!"

So I go to receptions and ask for a bill I no wanna stay in this hotella no more. when i have paid the billa, the portier say to me:"Thak you, and peace on you.

I say:" Piss on you too, you sonnawabitch! I go back to Italy! I never more comma stay your hotella no more, you sonnawabitch!"

Sincerely
Enrico Moralli
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#4
PrOl

PrOl

    Управляющий

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- Hello, are you there?
- Yes, who are you please?
- I'm Watt.
- What's your name?
- Watt's my name.
- Yes, what's your name?
- My name is John Watt.
- John what?
- Yes, are you Jones?
- No I'm Knott.
- Will you tell me your name then?
- Will Knott.
- Why not?
- My name is Knott.
- Not what?
- Not Watt, Knott.
- What?
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#5
XaHyMaH

XaHyMaH

    हनुमान

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Кое-что еще...
 
"Mars is essentially in the same orbit...Mars is somewhat the same distance from the Sun, which is very important. We have seen pictures where there are canals, we believe, and water. If there is water, that means there is oxygen. If oxygen, that means we can breathe."  
....Governor George W. Bush, Jr., 8/11/94  
 
"For NASA, space is still a high priority."  
....George W. Bush, Jr., 9/5/93
 
"[It's] time for the human race to enter the solar system."  
....Governor George W. Bush, Jr.
 
"We have a firm commitment to NATO, we are a part of NATO. We have a firm commitment to Europe. We are a part of Europe."  
....Governor George W. Bush, Jr.
 
И пара ссылок...
 
http://www.goofups.c...otes/3-104.html
http://www.gwbush.com/
 
И фото...
 
Маленький размер: http://www.ne.jp/asa.../bush_mudak.jpg
Большой размер: http://www.epicsol.o...start_a_war.jpg
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